Ever looked at your kids and wondered ‘what’s their problem?’ or ‘why are you being like this?’
If you’re like 99% of parents, you probably just shouted ‘yes!’ at your phone 😆
The thing is, communication problems in the home usually boil down to parents and children speaking a different ‘language’ (figuratively!).
Let’s say we have a mom who ‘speaks’ Italian and a dad who ‘speaks’ French. They’re different languages, yes, but there are enough similarities for things to work.
Their first kid arrives and she speaks Italian. Mom’s pumped! She can relate to the child – they ‘get’ each other. It’s a bit trickier for dad, but he can get by. Second kid? He speaks French. Score for dad! But then the third kid … wow.
The third child comes out speaking an obscure Chinese dialect and neither parent has a clue what he’s saying. He has issues they can’t make sense of. He’s angry, or anxious … or both, and it just has the parents stumped because neither of them can understand what’s going on.
A lot of times in this situation they feel frustrated, down on themselves or like they’re failing their child. But that’s not it at all – they just need to learn to speak a new language (or at least grasp the basics).
In the below video, I unpack this phenomenon and examine an approach that will help you dive beneath the surface to understand what your child is really saying, and how you can respond in a way that builds connection and trust.